Social Emotional Learning Blog Series: Relationship Skills
In the latest blog series, been spending time looking closely at each core competency of the CASEL framework. The 4th edition of this social-emotional competency series focuses on the relationships skills in the classroom.
This vital skill is helpful for individuals as they navigate the world around them both in and out of the classroom.
Let’s see what this competency is all about!
What Are Relationship Skills?
CASEL defines this area as the ability to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse individuals and groups.
Relationship skills sound like clear communication, resolving conflicts, sharing of ideas, giving support or standing up for others.
Relationship skills look like kindness and empathy, cooperation, cultural competency, leadership, avoiding negative peer pressure, and making positive choices.
From making friends to working with an unfamiliar person, building relationships is an important skill. It also can be tricky because there are many contexts and types of relationships we find ourselves in. SEL helps people work through all of that.
Why Building Relationships Is Important
Think of the types of relationships you find yourself in. Some are close, some are distant. Some are easy, some are not. They can be fun and uplifting while others might bring you down.
Looking at the diverse kinds of relationships, it’s no wonder why they can be tricky at times. For younger people, it can be just as tough because they are just figuring out how to make friends or get along with others. They are just learning to look outside of themselves and consider the feelings and perspectives of others.
One thing kids and adults alike want are healthy and positive experiences with people. This is why relationship skills are so important. When we have knowledge of how to form relationships, communicate with others, spend our time and invest in other people we can achieve those healthy and positive experiences.
For the most part, humans are social creatures, however, being social may not come naturally for all. Relationships take work. Close relationships require certain things from us compared to distant relationships. Developing social skills helps us figure out what to do and how to be when we are with different people and different situations.
Building relationships is also important for the classroom. Lumping kids together in a room all day to get along while learning can be a tall order! But with consistent social emotional instruction and practice, it becomes easier!
Benefits of Building Relationships For Students And The Classroom
We established that building relationships is important for healthy and positive interactions. And that developing relationship skills helps us know how to interact with others.
Building relationships also serves as the foundation to having a positive and healthy classroom environment. When students know how to build relationships with their classmates everyone benefits. Here’s how:
Cooperation
Group work is so big in learning. It requires getting along with others. Building relationships makes that process go smoothly.
Sense of Family
Research has shown learning increases when the environment feels safe and nurturing. Building relationships within a classroom tends to lead to forming bonds and a close knit community.
Reduces Bullying
Bullying is a big issue in schools. When kids learn how to form relationships with others they will stand-up to perpetrators and support those that were targeted. This lessens negative interactions increases care and concern for others.
Increases Appreciation of Differences
With many kids working together in a classroom comes diversity. It can be challenging working through differences, especially for students. Relationship building helps kids get past that because they learn how to understand others, accept differences and find ways to work together.
Creates Compassion
A byproduct of building relationships is compassion for others. With compassion comes things like empathy, care, trust and understanding, which makes interactions meaningful.
The path to foster relationship building in the classroom can start with teachers. Teachers can set the tone and expectations with their students. We’ll look at that next.
Building Relationship Skills for Teachers
Teachers encounter all kinds of relationships throughout their day. They interact with fellow teachers, support staff, students and parents/caregivers. Not all of these relationships are easy. All of them are important. Arguably the most important relationship is that between teacher and student, as that is the basis of all learning.
Many times educators find themselves being the liaison, or peacemaker between other parties. They take the brunt of parent complaints. Teachers are on the frontlines of dealing with challenging situations. They may hear harsh words from a student feeling big emotions.
Building relationships is vital to the health and well-being of teachers (and the classroom as a whole). Utilizing relationship skills helps educators get through sticky situations and relish the good times.
How Teachers Can Build Relationships
Implementing skills like clear communication and listening makes talking with others clear and productive. Seeking understanding and empathy brings on a spirit of compassion and not resentment. Forging relationships with other co-workers builds support and a sense of comradery. When put into practice teachers have the tools to collaborate, problem solve, accept differing viewpoints and communicate effectively.
To achieve this, teachers can tap into other SEL skills they use to build relationships:
Become mindful of your own needs, wants, and triggers so you know how to interact with others positively. Be aware of how other people make you feel so you can prepare your response. Understand your own feelings so you know how to communicate that.
Develop an open mind and willingness to work with others. Use the tools you need to remain calm, patient, and resilient. Take time to destress. Seek support from relationships you trust.
Be aware of how your actions affect others. Seek understanding from those around you. Be accepting of other points of view. Work together despite differences.
Make choices that work for both parties involved in the relationship. Collaborate with others when making decisions. Find ways to compromise. Use your instincts.
As you can see SEL competencies build upon one another and can give you the know-how when it comes to building relationships. If you tap into these you can effectively build relationships with your students too!
Strategies For Teaching Building Relationships
Morning Meeting To Build Rapport:
Before real relationships can form students have to get to know each other. Daily morning meetings are a great way for students to build a sense of community. You can keep it simple by incorporating get-to-know-you questions during a morning meeting. Ask things like, favorite things, pets, activities, special memories. Or you can make it more interactive by playing games like “Two Truths and a Lie,” or “The Line Up Game” where kids have to line up in a certain order like birthday month, alphabetical order.
Blind Fold Walk To Build Trust:
Split class up into pairs. One person in the pair will be blindfolded, the other person will be the guide. Hand out blind folds and instruct 1 student in the pair to put on. Then have partners link arms and walk around the room or open field with the guide leading the blindfolded person. The guide needs to make sure their partner is safe and doesn’t bump into things. After a few minutes, switch roles. At the end of the activity bring the class together to talk about their experiences. Trust is a key part of relationships.
“In Our Class We” Poster To Build Kindness, Compassion And Acceptance:
On poster board or butcher block paper write out the words “In Our Class We…” Instruct the class to brainstorm action words or phrases that express kindness, compassion and acceptance. Examples include “give a compliment, “ask someone new to play with me,” “help someone pick up their mess.” Talk to your class about how everyone can work at trying one of these ideas out every day. Hang the poster up in the class that is easy to see and refer back to it regularly.
Hop On The Island To Build Teamwork:
Using a rope or string make a big circle in an area on the floor of your classroom. This is the island. Instruct the class to work together to get everyone on the island. Once everyone is inside the roped off area ask class to move back to their spots and make the space smaller. Instruct class to repeat the process. Do this several times making the island smaller and smaller. It will become more challenging to fit the entire class on the island but will require students to work together to fit inside the circle.
Teach Conflict Resolution
Provide students with a set of tools/strategies to go to when the face a conflict in a relationship. If students have these tools on hand, they will be better prepared to solve common friendship issues. Examples include: walk away, explain your feelings, ask the person to stop, use I-stratements, ask an adult for help.
Friendship Looks Like/Sounds Like
Discuss what friendship is (or you could use other words such as community, teamwork, etc.). Make a T-Chart with Looks Like on one side and Sounds Like on the other. Have students come up with examples of what friendship looks like and sounds like. Discuss what makes someone a good friend or classmate.
Create a sense of community and give your students the skills needed to build relationships in your classroom. You will find new friendships form an appreciation for differences and great conflict resolutions, which will make teaching and learning a great experience.
Be sure to check out the other SEL competencies in this series!
Self-Awareness
Self-Management
Social-Awareness
4 Comments
Healthy relationships with students and teachers also help in having a good school year. This also ensures that the classroom is a safe space for everyone.
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[…] Learn about SEL relationship skills here. […]
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